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鲍里斯（Boris）
禽兽鲍里斯有探监的 Well, well, Boris the Animal has a visitor.
40年头一个可以放行 I guess one every 40 years is okay.
只是块蛋糕 It's a cake.
是什么我说了才算 I decide what it is.
看起来像蛋糕 Looks like some kind of cake.
没有异常，不是说没衣裳哦，你懂的... She's clean. Well, not clean, but you know...
噢，天呐 Oh, God.
禽兽鲍里斯 Boris the Animal...
有人来看你了 you've got a visitor.
是“鲍里斯” BORIS: It's just Boris.
你的信对我来说就是 Your letters have been soul-nourishing
心灵鸡汤 tonic.
你本人可比 And you are much more
照片上帅多了 unconventionally handsome than your photos.
这可不是夫妻探监 GUARD: This ain't a conjugal visit.
别亲了 So quit your conjugating...
你上次亲热是什么时候？ When's the last time you conjugated anything?
亲爱的，看到你带的礼物了 I see you've brought me a treat, darling.
你能帮我们切开它吗？ 今天是个特殊的日子 Would you mind cutting this up for us? It's a special day.
我很浪漫的 I'm a romantic like that.
要是我就不会这么做 Oh, I wouldn't do that.
为什么？ Why's mm.
会废了你的手指 It'll ruin your figure.
你让我完美无缺 You complete me.
大家伙 The big one.
鲍里斯！你答应带我一起走的！ MAN: Boris! You promised to take me with you!
我们说好的！ We had a deal!
奥巴代亚·普赖斯 Obadiah Price.
是，我是答应你了 Yes. I did make you a promise.
等等，感觉不太对 BORIS: Wait. I smell something.
- 你无路可逃，鲍里斯 - 是么 GUARD: You can't win, Boris. BORIS: Mm.
咱们走着瞧 Let's agree to disagree.
我们人数多 There's too many of us.
这里太热了，介意开窗通风吗？ Rather hot in here. Mind if I open a window?
对不起，亲爱的，蛋糕确实不错 Sorry, darling. We did love the cake.
让我们重写历史，好吗，K探员？ Let's rewrite history, shall we, K?
下午好 Good afternoon.
请大家注意看我的搭档，J探员 Please give your attention to my associate, Agent J.
他会给大家示范一下 He's going to demonstrate an electro-biomechanical,
电子生物神经传送零复位装置 neural-transmitting, zero-synapse repositioner.
我们叫它记忆消除器 We call it the neuralyzer.
- 简单点，滑头 - 多谢 Keep it simple, slick. Thanks a lot.
感谢J探员 Thank you, Agent K.
女士们，先生们，如果你们看这里 Uh, ladies and gentlemen, if you will look right here.
就会知道你们是如何登上飞机的 并且空姐让你们关手机 You know how you're on a plane and you're asked to turn your phone off?
你们却想“为什么要关，也没破坏飞机” You're like, 'I ain't turning it off. Has nothing to do with a plane.'.
看见没，结果就是这样 Well, this is what we get. That's what happens.
飞机窜到卫星那儿把它轰了下来！ It gets up there, bounces around on the satellites and blam!
关掉手机不就没这事了 Just turm your damn phone off.
今晚你们开车要掉下悬崖了 因为没GPS信号 Now you're gonna drive off a cliff tonight because your GPS don't work.
查查燃料和表层堆积物的成分 Check the composition of the fuel units and surface deposits.
我想知道谁在驾驶 I wanna know who was driving.
是的，长官 Yes, sir.
今晚想说什么？ 别担心 What are you gonna say tonight? Ah, don't worry.
能不担心吗，这很重要 No, I'm very worried. This is important.
- 我饿了，你呢？ I'm hungry. You hungry? K. - K
说真的，我不认为那是肉 J: Seriously, I'm not even sure that's meat.
我想我看到了里面有 牙齿、爪子、蹄子什么的 I think I just saw a tooth in that thing, or a claw, or a hoof.
谢谢，曼尼 Thanks, Manny.
这根本不是皮塔饼（希腊小吃类似肉夹馍） 应该是棺材饼 That does not belong in a pita, it belongs in a casket.
能不能少说两句 What would go good with this would be silence.
看呐，这就是问题所在 See, here's the problem.
你闻不到 You can't smell it
因为你鼻子不好使，我的却不一样 because your nose already smells like that, but my nose doesn't.
沉默是金，你应该试着慢点说话 Silence goes good with lot of things. Ever try or is talking how you breathe?
烦我就直说，别等回车里郁闷 Just say you hate me. Don't take it out on the car.
吃完再说 Let me enjoy this.
那就吃吧 Whoa, enjoyment. Ha, ha.
看你表情就知道，我喜欢这情绪 So that's what enjoyment looks like on that face. I like that emotion.
情绪和这无关 I keep emotion out of it.
和什么无关，生活吗？ Out of what, K? Life?
你就不想让我帮你一把？ You don't wanna run it by me?
- 让我看看你想说什么？ - 别担心 Let me know what you'll say? Don't worry.
喔，不，我担心，非常担心 Oh, no, I'm worried. Very worried.
这可是悼词，你必须要富有情感 It's the man's eulogy. You have to show some feeling.
才能让人们感动 That thing people do when they change their facial expression?
我和泽德共事40年了，他很出色 I worked with Zed for 40 years. A hell of an agent.
为了他我会写下出色的悼词 And I have written a hell of a speech for him.
大家会感动的 People will be moved.
嗯哼 Mm-hm.
奇异恩典 （《Amazing grace》） ALIENS: Amazing grace
惶惑而今 Was blind but now
得见 I see
现在由K探员献上几句 MAN: And now a few words from Agent K.
我和泽德共事40年 I worked with Zed for over 40 years, and in all that time
他从来不邀请我吃晚餐 he never invited me to dinner.
也从来没邀请过我去他家看球赛 He never asked me to his house to watch a game.
从来不分享他个人生活的任何事 He never shared a single detail of his personal life.
是啊，他很古怪 Yeah, he was weird.
谢谢 Thank you.
现在由新上任的领导O探员发言 MAN: And now we will hear from our new chief, Agent O.
谢谢K探员，太感人了 O: Thank you, Agent K. That was very moving.
- 这就是你的悼词？ - 他是个好人 That was your eulogy? He was a good man.
女士们，先生们及外星朋友们 O: Ladies, gentlemen, other life forms.
当我把泽德去世的消息告诉 一位齐格罗星人时 When I told the Finucian Zyglot about Zed's passing,
她说了一些话，接下来我会重复一遍 she said something that I'm going to repeat.
并释义 And I'm paraphrasing.
这就是泽德 That's just so Zed.
谢谢 Thank you.
（《I’m An Old Cowhand》）
呀喝！ Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay
呀喝！我是个老牛仔 Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay I'm an old cowhand
有什么不对劲吗？老兄 You lose something over here, Hondo?
你能对我保证吗，如果我先死了 你在葬礼上的悼词一定要比这次好？ Can you promise, if I go first, you'll do better than that at my funeral?
比如： You know, something like, uh..
J是我的朋友 J was a friend.
对我如此重要的人却离我而去 Now there's a big part of me that's gone.
噢，J，有些事还没来得及告诉你 Oh, J, all the things that I should have said,
我是个老头 except I was too old
脾气坏，傲慢 and craggy and surly
并且顽固 and just tight. I was too
很顽固 tight.
我很想念你性感黝黑的皮肤 I'm gonna just miss your caramel-brown skin.'
我会现场发挥的 I'll wing something.
K，我是O，我们接到报案 K, it's O. We have reports of several humans suffering from
有人类感染了外星蛔虫 intestinal worms of alien origin.
谢谢,O Thank you, O.
你怎么变成这样了？ How did you get to be like you?
出什么事了，K，发生什么了？ Something happened, K. What happened?
你知道我没什么不开心的 You know how I live such a happy life?
没什么不开心的？ How you live such a happy life?
我不该知道的从来不问 I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answer to.
真深奥 Mm-mm. That's deep.
当一切已注定 And that's when it happens
当你和妈妈一起生活 When you live with your mother
带她回家，妈妈会说“嗯哼” Try to take her home And Mom goes 'Mm-mm'
杰弗里 Jeffrey.
我认识你吗？ Do I know you?
你很有能力，你父亲奥巴代亚告诉我的 Your services are legendary, so said your father, Obadiah.
你应该在月球监狱 You were in Lunar-Max.
没有我逃不出的监狱 There is no prison that can hold me.
额…真不赖，你想要什么，伙计？ Uh... Cool for you. What do you need from me, man?
那个装置 The device.
我要尽快回到过去杀个人 在他夺走我手臂之前 I'm going back in time to kill a man before he takes my arm.
噢，K探员，J探员！ Oh, K, J!
见到你们很高兴，这边请 So happy to see you. Uh, Mr. Wu get you your regular table?
不饿吗？ You no hungry?
给我们看看水箱 Show us the tanks, Wu.
当然，当然可以，你看看，很新鲜 Oh, sure, sure. You look. Very fresh.
让我们看看后厨的水箱 Show us the tanks in the back.
抱歉，听不懂你们说的，晚点再来，好吗？ Ha, ha. So sorry. No speak English. You come back later, okay?
把这些屁话留给外地人吧 Save the chop-socky bullshit for the tourists, Wu.
你们到底想干什么？ Hey, what you guys wanna bust my balls for, huh?
你没权知道 You don't have no balls.
喔 Ooh.
伙计，看起来你来自行星 Man, you look like you come from the planet.
该死 Damn.
鲍勃明显违反了第32条卫生条例 And Bob here is a clear violation of Health Ordinance 32:
贩卖未经许可的外星 Selling unlicensed extraterrestrial...
食品 foodstuffs.
那是地球上的鱼类 That is an Earth fish.
这在中国很常见，你要逮捕我的话 Very traditional in China. You arrest me,
就是种族歧视！ that's a hate crime!
是啊 It would be
如果你是中国人的话 if you were Chinese.
K，拜托，我还要抚养幼虫 K, come on. I got larvae to feed.
这尖刺鱼是为谁准备的？ Who is the Spiky Bulba fol?
没有谁 Nobody.
为谁准备的？ K:Who's it for?
我养着它而已！ I keep them in case!
- 说不说？ - 我不知道 In case what? I don't know!
任何人！ Anybody!
好吧，你个臭虫 K: All right, you slug.
喔，喔，额... Whoa, whoa. Uh...
吴 Wu,
我和他之间有点问题，但不应该拿你出气 uh, he and I are having issues right now, but you shouldn't suffer for that.
谢谢，J Thank you, J.
如果不想被鱼扇耳光，得遵守协议 So if you don't like getting fish-slapped, keep to our agreement.
地球人吃地球鱼，真正的地球鱼类 Earth people get Earth fish. Real Earth fish.
为了我这个可怜的人和没用的孩子 请您留下来吧 On behalf of my pathetic self and worthless children,you stay.
能够献上您最喜欢的面条我不胜荣幸 好吗,K？ Allow me most honorable benefit of serving you favourite noodles, K?
没人想吃你那恶心的面条 Don't nobody want your nasty-ass noodles.
你就是一坨屎，吴 You're a piece of shit, Wu.
放点虾和白菜一起做 Shrimp and bok choy.
咱俩还得在这呆会 We're gonna be here for a while.
真是的 J: That was just mean.
你在后厨都干了些什么 What you did to Wu back there.
扒掉他的围裙 Snatched his skirt off.
这太无礼了 That's just disrespectful.
以前我常和我爸玩个游戏 I used to play a game with my dad:
你的最后一餐会吃什么 What'll You Have For Your Last Meal.
你可以做得比这更糟 You could do worse than this.
噢，好吧，额… On. Okay. Um...
我和老爸玩的游戏 I played a game with my dad
叫做“接球” called catch.
我把球扔出去，它只会打到墙上 Except I'd throw the ball and it'd just hit the wall
因为我没父亲 because he wasn't there.
别说你老子坏话 Don't badmouth your old man.
不是说他坏话 我只是真的不知道他是什么样 I'm not badmouthing him. I just didn't really know him.
这不对 It's not right.
什么对不对的，孩子需要父亲 Damn right it's not. A boy needs a father.
一号桌还没点餐 Table one hasn't ordered a thing. Table three
三号桌已经喝四杯 just drank his fourth cup
鸭酱了 of duck sauce.
K，今天坠落的飞船 O: K, the crashed ship
是从 from this morning was stolen from...
月球监狱 K: Lunar-Max.
禽兽鲍里斯 Boris the Animal.
你怎么知道？ How did you know?
他一向爱吃尖刺鱼 He has a taste for Spiky Bulba.
给我们点时间，长官 Give us a minute, chief.
有麻烦了 We're in a situation.
是啊 K: Oh, yeah.
我对付Chloropod I take the Chloropod.
你对付Tarantabee You take the Tarantabee
和那边的Hydronian and the Hydronian over there.
然后我会搞定厨房里的 I'll take the kitchen.
到街上会合 Meet you on the street.
在我一生中 This is a very confusing time
这可真够乱套的 in my life.
嘿 Unh! Hey.
嘘，嘘！ Shh, shh!
嘴闭上，头低下 Keep your mouth closed, keep your head down.
嘿呀！ Hi-yah!
恶！ Ugh!
哈喽，K Hello, K.
禽兽鲍里斯 Boris the Animal.
是“鲍里斯” It's just Boris.
你没怎么变，还是一条胳膊 You haven't changed very much. I see the arm I shot off is still shot off.
是啊，我的胳膊 Yes, my arm.
在过去的40年中 We've thought about that moment
我无时无刻不在回想断臂的瞬间 every day for the last 40 years.
你这辈子也就这样了 Well, that's just not living a full life.
我敢保证我会活得比你长 I can promise you it will be longer than yours.
如果你是最后一个伯格罗多星人 一样会感到孤独 Lonelier too. Since you're the last Boglodite standing.
走着瞧 We'll see about that.
但是首先，很高兴可以亲手杀了你 But first, I want the pleasure of killing you.
唷，K Yo, K.
- 你跑哪去了？ - 捕鱼 Where the hell have you been? Fishing.
你还不知道，K，其实你已经死了 You don't know it, K, but you're already dead.
你没事吧？ You all right?
请大家往我这边看好吗？ May I have everyone's attention, please?
谢谢 Thank you.
你们知道孩子从集市弄了一袋金鱼 You know how your kid won the goldfish in that little baggie
你们不想在家养它 from the fair and you didn't want it in your house
所以就骗孩子说金鱼跑了 然后就你们以为把它冲进马桶便没事了？ so you told your kid it ran away when you flushed it down the toilet?
好吧，这就是你们干的 Well, this is what happens.
如何？看到了吗？别对孩子撒谎 Okay? See what I'm talking about? Don't lie in your kids.
伙计，这些事我可干够了 Man, I am getting too old for this.
可以想象你是什么感觉 I can only imagine how you feel.
禽兽鲍里斯 Boris the Animal.
很久前我把它送到监狱 这是我犯过的最大错误 I put him away a long time ago. It's the worst mistake I ever made.
为什么？他是无辜的吗？ Why? Was he innocent?
应该杀了他 Should have killed him.
- 该死，咱们去干掉他吧 - 不 Well, shit, let's go get him. No.
- 不？ - 别管他 No? Leave it alone.
这不是你的职责 It's above your pay grade.
咱俩职责一样 We have the same pay grade.
这与你无关，管好自己就行了 It has nothing to do with you Mind your own business.
好吧，首先，别总对我说教 Okay, first of all, let's get a little bit of that bass out your voice.
其次，只要那禽兽胡作非为，我就得管 Secondly, as long as Spikey Boy is running around, this is my business.
如果你管这事我就向上级汇报 You forget about Boris or my report will reflect
你行为不端 that your conduct has been unbecoming.
好啊，也许我也可以对你这么做，K Well, maybe my report is gonna reflect some shit too, K.
- 你被停职两周 - 胡说 You are suspended for two weeks. Bullshit.
四周 Four weeks.
我退出怎么样？ How about I quit?
有些事你没必要知道 K: There are things out there you don't need to know.
你雇我时可不是这么说的 That's not the lie you told me when you recruited me.
还好吗，大爷 What up. Pops?
还好，搭档没来啊 Yeah Lose your partner?
距离穿梭至阿法尊巴星球 Next shuttle to Afazumba
还有22分钟 leaving in 22 minutes.
搜索 J: Search
禽兽鲍里斯 Boris the Animal.
禽兽鲍里斯，伯格罗多星球刺客 COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Boris the Animal, Boglodite assassin.
伯格罗多星人是很凶猛的外星种族 Boglodites were a rogue alien race
所到之处片甲不留 that consumed all planets in their path.
地球上的外星人谋杀案中 Boris the Animal was the only suspect
唯一的嫌疑犯就是禽兽鲍里斯 in a series of alien murders on Earth.
案件报告 Incident report.
禽兽鲍里斯在接下来的谋杀案中被判有罪 Boris the Animal was convicted
时间1969年7月15日 for the following murders that occurred on July 15, 1969.
谋杀罪名一： 康尼岛，上午10:37，预言家罗曼 Murder number one: Coney Island, 10:37 a.m. Roman the Fabulist.
谋杀罪名二：工厂 Murder number two: The Factory.
精确搜索 Refine search.
K探员 Agent K.
1969年7月16日 Junior Agent K apprehended and arrested.
在佛罗里达州卡纳维拉尔角 K探员逮捕了禽兽鲍里斯 Boris the Animal on July 16, 1969, at Cape Canaveral, Florida.
- 卡纳维拉尔角 Cape Canaveral. Agent K
K探员的英勇事迹获得了很高赞扬 received the highest commendation for heroic action,
包括建立 including implementation
天穹网防御系统 of the Arc Net Defense System
保护地球免遭伯格罗多星人入侵 which protected the Earth from Boglodite invasion
最终人类胜利 and led to the race's extinction..
细节 Details.
访问受限 Access restricted.
对不起，清除高级探员权限 换为最高级别的J探员权限 Excuse me? Clearance level senior agent, class one. J.
拒绝访问 Access denied.
什么？ What?
你怎么突然对你搭档的 陈年旧事感兴趣了？ So why this sudden interest in your partner's old exploits? Hm?
鲍里斯和K之间发生过什么？ What happened between Boris and K?
很简单 That's easy.
K囚禁了鲍里斯，他建造了天穹网 K imprisoned Boris. He put up the Arc Net.
他从伯格罗多星人手里拯救了地球 He protected the Earth from the Boglodites.
他完成了他的使命 He did his job.
这可不是我要问的 That's not what I'm asking.
卡纳维拉尔角，发生什么了？ Cape Canaveral, what happened?
有些事改变了他 Something that changed him.
别谈这些了 Leave it at that.
所以你俩是老相识了，对吗？ Hm. So you two go way back, huh?
这是机密 That's classified.
奉劝一句，J探员 A word of advice, Agent J.
不该知道的就别问 Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
有意思，K也是这么说的 That's funny. That is exactly what K said.
他是个聪明人 He's a very wise man.
晚上好好休息 Take the rest of the night off.
怎么？ What?
我想我欠你一些答案，伙计 Guess I owe you some answers, hoss.
啥？你咋突然想说这些呢？ What, you're feeling chatty all of a sudden?
现在不行，我在工作呢 I can't talk right now. I've got secret cases of my own I'm working on.
真不想拆穿你在玩游戏 I hate to tear you away from your video game.
好吧，我要挂了 All right. I'm hanging up.
知道宇宙中最具破坏性的力量是什么吗？ You know the most destructive force in the universe?
毒品？ Sugar?
很遗憾 Regret.
别绕了，直说吧 You don't have to wait. Just talk.
我向你保证过这秘密不能说，仅此而已 I promised you the secrets of the universe. Nothing more.
还有什么秘密我不能知道？ So there's secrets out there the universe don't know about?
妈咪 GIRL: Mommy.
需要帮忙吗？ Can I help you?
额… Uh...
K呢？ K?
5K吗？（房间号） 5K.
额… Uh...
对不起，那是巧克力牛奶吗？ I'm sorry, is that chocolate milk?
我能…？对不起，我不知道怎么了… Can I-? I'm so sorry. I don't know what...
妈咪，奥巴马抢我的 GIRL: Mommy, the president is drinking
- 牛奶喝 - 嗯 my milk. Mmm.
对不起 I'm sorry.
他还没问我同不同意呢 He didn't say please.
- K来了吗？ - 谁？ K get in yet? Who?
你新来的？ You new?
真有意思，J探员 Very funny. Agent J.
J，昨天你跟我说的那些，真是及时雨啊 J, everything you told me yesterday, you were right rain.
- 感谢上帝给了这10小时的监视 - 你是谁？ Thank God for that 10-hour stakeout Who are you?
没错，今天我觉得自己焕然一新 Exactly. I feel like a whole new man today.
进步很快，之前总是对身边的一切感到不满 Like this great weight has been lifted. I've had anger issues my entire life,
但现在只对自己和继母不满 but now I see I was mad at myself. And my stepmom.
先生，别说了好吗 Sir, I'm gonna need you to stop talking.
这就像我关闭了情感之窗 It's like I closed this emotional window.
但又打破了它 But I threw a brick through that window.
多谢你的引导，J Thank you for handing me that brick, J.
不管你是谁，离我远点 否则我扯下你的喉咙 Whoever you are, give me five feet or I'll pluck you in your throat.
好吧，我得去黑衣人那了 I'm gonna go to the little Men's-in-Black room,
然后去找博伊希拉星球的蠢货 午饭我请 then we'll go find those morons from Pox Elhera. Lunch is on me.
那是谁？ Who was that?
扇你屁股那位？你搭档 Double A? Your partner.
你给我拿杯巧克力牛奶，好吗？ Uh, I need you to go get me some chocolate milk, all right?
大杯的，你看到K了吗？ Just a really big glass. Have you seen K?
他请病假了还是怎么了？ Did he call in sick or anything?
谁是K？ Who's K?
好吧，好吧，跟我扯吧 All right, allright, go ahead, go ahead.
K！你在哪？ K!
好吧 All right.
你赢了 You got me.
不得不说，很有趣，煞费苦心啊 I'll give it to you. It's funny, very elaborate.
你们大家，演得真不错 Oh, and all of you, fantastic performances.
都14年了才知道你们这么幽默 You waited 14 years to develop a sense of humor,
这个很不错 but this is a good one.
K，现在你得出来了 But, K, I need you to come out here now
因为我已经有点不太高兴了 because I'm starting to get a little pissed off.
J探员，介意小点声说话吗 Agent J, would you mind keeping your voice down
你想找谁？ and telling me who you're looking for?
我在找K I'm looking for K.
谁是K？ Who is K?
你也给我扯？扯吧 Unh! You too? You too.
我是问，他到底谁是？ I mean, who is he to you?
我搭档 MY partner.
110岁的老头子 Older gentleman, 110,
也许111了 maybe 111 years old.
有点傲慢，像猫王一样，他是这么笑的 Sort of a surly, Elvis thing happening with him. He smiles like this.
看见过吗？ Seen him around?
我带你去见他 I'll take you to K.
谢谢 Thank you.
- 这是什么？ - 是K What is that supposed to be? That's K.
他已经去世40多年了 He's been dead for over 40 years.
好吧，看得出来 如果这是笑话的话确实很有趣 Okay, see, the prerequisite for a joke is that it be funny.
没开玩笑 It's never been funny.
电脑，K探员和禽兽鲍里斯 Computer, Agent K and Boris the Animal.
黑衣人事件报告，1969年7月 COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Men in Black incident report; July, 1969.
地点：卡纳维拉尔角 Location, Cape Canaveral.
罪犯禽兽鲍里斯逃往地球 Perpetrator Boris the Animal escaped and fled Earth.
假设返回伯格罗多星球需20光年 Assumed to have returned to planet Boglodotia 20 light-years away.
K探员在这次事件中宣告死亡 对于他拯救人类的英勇行为 Agent K pronounced dead at scene. Awarded posthumous commendation
当局予以表彰 for action which prevented greater loss of human life. Life.
这不可能 That's not what happened.
我看过这篇报告 K把鲍里斯囚禁起来 I looked at this report. K put Boris away...
- K探员已经死了 - 昨晚我还跟他通话来着 Agent K is dead Well, I just talked to him last night.
- 都是你在想象而已 - 才不是 You are imagining. I'm not.
- 我需要心理医生到这来 - 好的，女士 I need a psych team up here. Yes, ma'am.
他用Aqua Velva须后水，这不是想象 Aqua Velva aftershave. I didn't imagine that.
每次监视行动，连续几小时都是牛仔音乐 Every stakeout, endless hours of cowboy music.
每天早上喝咖啡，他总是说 Every morning with his coffee, he'd say:
“我告诉你，滑头 这咖啡味道可不怎么样” "I tell you something, slick. This coffee tastes like dirt."
然后我说“什么样才和你口味？ And I was supposed to say, 'What do you expect?
这可是早上现磨的咖啡” It was ground this morning.' 'This morning.'.
你怎么知道的？ How do you know that?
巧克力牛奶，先生？ Chocolate milk, sir?
你去哪了，伙计？ 这都一小时了 Where you been, man? It was like an hour ago.
等下 O: Wait.
你喜欢巧克力乳制品多久了？ How long have you been craving chocolatized dairy products?
今天才开始 J: Just today.
有头痛，头晕 Are you experiencing headaches? Dizziness?
- 失去平衡 - 嗯哼 Loss of balance? Mm-hm.
烦躁，抑郁的感觉吗？ Agitation? Depression?
是啊，有 Hell, yeah.
两种可能，一种是你被 Two possibilities. One is you've been bitten
哈瓦星球的脑蜱虫咬了 by a Hovartian brain tick
随时都可能痛苦挣扎的死去 and could die in horrible agony at any moment.
该死，不是蜱虫 Damn it. It's not the tick.
该死，不是蜱虫？ 'Damn it, it's not the tick'?
比蜱虫还糟？ It's something worse than the tick?
嗯 Mm.
你对巧克力牛奶的痴迷表明 Your obsession with chocolate milk indicates
你可能参与过某个短时间的时空穿梭 that you might be involved in some sort of temporal fracture.
我不明白你在说什么 I don't know what you're talking about.
巧克力牛奶可以去除因时空穿梭导致的头痛 Chocolate milk relieves temporal-fracture headaches.
时空穿梭是什么？ What's a temporal fracture?
穿越到任意时间点 A break in the timeline.
还是不明白你的意思 Don't know what you mean.
时间旅行！时间旅行 Time travel! Time travel.
根本不存在时间旅行 There's no such thing as time travel.
- 这个可以有 - 这个真没有 Well, there is. No.
没有 There's not.
因为如果有的话 Because if there were
像我这类顶级探员 class-one senior agent such myself
应该有权知道，难道他不是吗？ would have been aware of it, wouldn't he have?
这根本不是机密，只是他越权办事 Were it not classified and way above his pay grade.
你知道我想要什么 You know, I need a raise.
有个卑鄙的家伙 奥巴代亚·普赖斯 There was one man, scumbag, Obadiah Price,
他发明的，我们开除了他 穿越宇宙这技术对我们来说是违法的 he figured it out, we busted him, we made time travel illegal
他被判终生监禁在月球监狱 throughout the universe and he is serving life on Lunar-Max.
鲍里斯也关在那 No- That's where Boris was locked up.
如果鲍里斯知道如何穿越时空 Uh- If Boris worked out how to time jump,
他一定会改写历史 he could seriously change the course of history.
注意，预警系统显示 COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Attention. Early-warning system engaged.
敌方战舰已进入太阳系 Inbound hostile warships entering solar system.
检测到伯格罗多种族信息 Boglodite markings and language detected.
伯格罗多，鲍里斯是伯格罗多星人 但他们已经灭绝了 Boglodite. Boris is a Boglodite, but they're extinct.
显然没有 Apparently not.
地球即将遭受灾难性打击 Catastrophic Earth attack imminent.
启用天穹网 Put up the Arc Net.
- 什么？ - 天穹网，防御系统 The what? The Arc Net. The defense system.
K发明的，为了防止伯格罗多星人入侵 K got it for the Boglodites.
K早就不在了 There is no K.
他已经去世40多年了 He's been dead for over 40 years.
他不在就没有防御系统 No K. No defense system
鲍里斯回到过去杀了他 Boris jumped back and killed him.
如果你想拯救世界，从一开始就要阻止他 If you wanna save the world, stop that from happening.
你去找杰弗里·普赖斯 他是奥巴代亚的儿子 You have to find Jeffrey Price. He's Obadiah's son.
希望这小子能帮上忙 Let's hope the little squirt hasn't skipped town.
- 祝你好运，J！ - 这是地球的临别祝词，哈哈哈 ALIEN 1: Good luck, J! ALIEN 2: This planet's toast. Ha-ha-ha.
需要点什么？我这电池 How can I help you? We're having an amazing sale
卖的很不错 on batteries.
哇哦，好吧，我还有别的东西 耳机，充电器什么的 Whoa. Okay, we got other stuff, like headphones, adapters or...
你帮助禽兽鲍里斯时空穿梭 You helped Boris the Animal time jump.
是，我必须得做，那家伙是个怪物 Whoa, whoa. Okay, I had to. That dude's a freak.
他杀了我搭档 He killed my partner.
我想知道他传送的时间地点 I want to know when and where you sent him.
我会告诉你全记在本子里了吗？ What, you think I keep, like, a logbook?
哈 Huh.
目标方位，1969年7月16日 J: Target vector, July 16,
好吧 1969. All right.
你朋友真是个无赖 That's a real bummer about your buddy.
我知道他很棒 I'm sure he was a great guy.
但根据时间连续体来说 But in terms of the space-time continuum,
你朋友在历史上简直不值一提 your friend was a little blip on the historical radar!
哦 Oh.
出大麻烦了 That's a big blip.
- 好吧，我该怎么办？ - 你把我送回 Okay. What's the plan? You're gonna send me
1969年7月15日 back to July 15th, 1969.
不，这不对，因为我把鲍里斯送到7月16日 No, that's a stupid plan, because I sent Boris to July 16th.
这不是我担心的 我要在鲍里斯现身前 I'm not worried about that one. I'll kill the younger Boris
杀了年轻时的他 before the older one shows.
那样的话，他们两个都得消失 That way, neither of them will even exist.
这就是你为什么穿黑制服 That's why you get to wear the black suit.
不是吗？ No?
咱俩不撞一下吗？好吧 You're gonna leave me hanging? Okay.
喔，我想起来了 Oh, I just thought of something Even back then,
那年代纽约又大又乱 New York was like a big-ish city.
你打算怎么找到他？ So how are you gonna really find him?
7月15日，鲍里斯在康尼岛杀了一名 叫做预言家罗曼的外星人 On July 15th, Boris killed an alien, Roman the Fabulist, at Coney Island.
你准备先到那等他出现？ You're gonna get there first and be waiting?
伙计，他们应该给你两套黑制服 Dude, they should give you two black suits.
老弟，能认真点吗？ My man, for real?
好吧 On, right.
对不起 Sorry. Um...
这才是 This...
真家伙，时空穿梭装置 is the real deal. Time-jump gear.
非常稀有，有年头了 Very rare, very old.
但首先，咱们得“嗨”一下 But first, we gotta get high.
嘿，不 Hey. No.
不是，我是说到很高的地方 （high有多重意思） No. No, I mean, really high.
嘿，伙计，拉我一把？ JEFFREY: Unh! Hey, man? A little help here?
谢谢 Unh. Thank you.
好的 Okay...
- 知道时空穿梭的规则吗？ - 长话短说 You know the rules of time jumps? Give me the short version.
想救你搭档，建议： Okay. You wanna save your partner, word of advice:
离他远点 Shy away from him.
记住了吗，离K远点，杀了鲍里斯就行 Yeah, got it. Slay away from K. Just kill Boris.
现在，拿上这个 Now, take these.
掉下去时会获得足够的风速 It gets pretty windy on the way down.
掉下去？ The way down?
如果你哭的话，就看不到刻度盘了 With eyes tearing up, it's hard to read the dial.
再说，他使你看起来更像时间旅行者 这酷毙了 Plus, it helps you look like a real time traveler, which is cool.
我才不要从这跳下去！ I am not jumping off of this building!
不跳就没戏 Time jump...
好了，现在 Okay, now,
我设置一下 I gotta set this thing
到15日 to the 15th.
好像 （1969年7月15日上午10:29） Uh, that seems
没错 right-ish.
现在 Now
就差你一跳了 all you gotta do is jump.
嘿，别，别拍我 Hey. Hey. Slop. Sup it.
当你下落速度足够快时 When you're moving fast enough,
圆圈内会充满绿色液体 that circle is gonna fill up with some sort of green time-travel liquid
发出夺目的亮光 and it's gonna glow really bright.
然后你尽快用拇指划过蓝色激光线 As soon as that happens, break that blue laser line
来完成这次旅行 with your thumb to complete the circuit.
这个高度，应该是… At this height, that should be, uh...
我算算，地球质量和每分钟30英尺左右 Let's see, mass of Earth and 30-something feet per minute...
每秒32英尺，每秒！ It's 32 feet per second, per second!
你说得对 That sounds right-ish.
我想应该是…，大约离地面两英尺 So that would be, I guess, uh, about two feet off the ground.
划过激光线吗？ I break the laser line?
不，别碰它！ No, don't break it!
- 那什么时候才算快！ - 听起来不错 No, when I'm fast enough! Sounds good!
划过激光线到底有没有用？ Do I break the laser line or do I not break the laser line?
别把这设备弄丢了 Do not lose that time device
否则你就得一直呆在1969年了！ or you will be stuck in 1969!
对你来说可不是什么好时候 It wasn't the best time for your people.
只是说说，让你冷静一下 I'm just saying. It's, like, a lot cooler now.
我怎么知道这是否有用？ How will I know if it works?
非生 You'll either
即死 or you won't.
你一定很喜欢这家伙才会这么做 You must really love this guy to do this.
等等，为什么只有我记得K？ 其他人都忘了 Oh, wait. How come I remember K, but nobody else does?
哇哦！ Whoa! Whoa.
- 那说明当时你在那 - 在哪？ That means you were there! I was where?
如果你活着回来，一定跟我好好讲讲 If you survive, you gotta come back and tell me everything.
在哪？ Where was I?
你得跳了！ You gotta go!
快跳，快！ Just go, go, go!
哦，不！ Oh, no!
快啊！ Come on!
爱 （《Love Is Strange 》） Love
爱是陌生的 Love is strange
当你离开我 When you leave me
- 老兄，今天星期几 - 星期三 My man, what's today? Tuesday.
- 几号？ - 15号 The date? The 15th.
- 哪月？ - 7月 Of? July.
- 年份呢 - 1969年 Dog, the year. 1969.
谢谢 Thank you.
我不会以为我疯了吧 Look at me like I'm crazy.
太棒了 MAN 1: Far out.
你不会相信的 杰瑞在嬉皮士的地盘嗨翻了 Jerry rocked Haight-Ashbury like you wouldn't believe.
好的，我们到了 MAN: Okay, we're here.
- 高兴吗？ - 你真令人讨厌，佛瑞德 Happy'? WOMAN: You're such a pill, Fred.
- 去办入住手续 - 知道了 FRED: Get us checked in. WOMAN: Yeah, yeah.
嘿，帮个忙，好吗？ Hey. Hey, do me a favour, all right?
- 拿行李时小心点 - 一定会的，先生 Be careful with the luggage. Absolutely, sir.
这行李箱贵着呢 FRED: I paid a lot of money for that luggage.
- 我们会照看好的 - 还有别磨坏了 BELLBOY: We'll take good care- FRED: Last time, it got scuffed up.
给你，先生 如果需要服务就叫我 Here you go, sir. Just call down when you need it.
后备箱还有行李 There's more in the trunk.
知道了，会安排妥当的，先生。请进去吧 Uh, yeah, it'll be in your room, sir. Just go in.
对不起，打扰一下，那是谁？ BELLBOY: Excuse me. Excuse me, who is that?
你是谁？ Who are you?
14号航班，你现在 （《2000 Light Years From Home》） Bell Flight 14, you now
可以着陆 Can land
快走啊！ Let's go!
绿色沙地是你的藏身之所 Safe on the green desert sand
不过这里渺无人烟 It's so very lonely
离开家乡 You're 2000 light-years
2000光年 From home
不错啊，伙计！ Far out, man!
如果你再这样我就不客气了 If you want to keep that, I wouldn't.
笑一个别生气 Make love, not war.
不用你告诉我该怎么做 I prefer to do both
警官，你好吗？ 我能为你做点什么？ How are you, officers? What can I do you fol?
看呐，电动车窗和密封条 Well, look at this. Power windows, power seals
我打赌这车得6千美元 I'll bet you it cost 6 grand. Yeah.
是啊，这车还有个隐藏式顶棚 Uh, yes, and it has a roof, but it's hidden.
嘿，你是做什么的？ Hey, what kind of work do you do?
像你这种肤色的人 An individual of your
能买得起这种车吗？ particular ethnic persuasion?
- 嗯 - 没准是个有名的运动员 Mm... COP: Maybe he's a noted athlete.
嗯 Mm.
是啊，我是底特律黑人队的前锋 Yes. Uh... Starling forward for the Detroit Darkies.
车和制服哪来的？ Where'd you get the car? And the suit?
从你们那偷的，车是你老婆的 I stole them both. Uh, car from your wife,
制服是你奶奶的 suit from your grandmother.
嘿 Hey.
这是什么？武器吗？ What do we have here? Concealed weapon?
嘿，这可是他奶奶的制服 Hey, it's his grandmother's suit.
- 嘿，这是什么？ - 可能是毒品 Hey, what's this? Probably drugs.
在你们按旁边的按钮前 I have rights and I demand to see my lawyer
我有权见我的律师 before you press that small button on the side firmly.
按一下试试 Press it.
先生们，这就是记忆消除器的功能 That, gentlemen, is a standard-issue neuralyzer.
你们不会记得了 You're not gonna remember that.
因为当你们看见一个黑人开着豪车 And just because you see a black man driving a nice car
并不意味着就是偷的 does not mean it's stolen.
这辆是偷的，但不是因为我是黑人 I stole that one. But not because I'm black.
这车我还得用一会 I'll be done with the car in a minute!
你们找到后还给罗斯福酒店那个蠢货 Just find it and take it back to the jerk at the Roosevelt Hotel.
阿查南星人在哪？ Where is the Archanan?
你太晚了 MAN: You are too late.
他已经把天穹网 He is going to give the humans
交给人类了 the Arc Net.
咱们走着瞧 Let's agree to disagree.
这事我们负责 We'll take it from here.
K，是你吗？ K?
K！真是你 K! K! Aah!
爸，我在地球呢 ALIEN: Dad, I'm on Earth.
来保释我 I need bail.
蓝色变形飞船的主人 Will the owner of a blue warp-speed cruiser
请到前台报道 please report to the front desk.
你应该把那该死的东西电量调低点 You need to turn the electricity down on that damn thing.
我舌头都麻了，K Can't taste my fricking tongue, K.
你怎么知道我名字？ How do you know my name?
什么？因为我叫你K？ What? Because I called you 'K'?
不，我管每个人都叫K No, I call everybody K.
我就这样 It's kind of my thing.
是吧，K？ What up, K?
好吧，有点… All right, I sort of...
我就是这样子，只是… 有人喜欢这样 Yeah, that's kind of my thing. I just- Uh, some people like it.
很多人 Most people.
现在我知道你撒谎的时候 Now that I know what you look like
是什么样了，时候让我看看 when you're lying, show me
你说实话的样子吧？ what you look like when you're telling the truth?
这些是我在康尼岛玩套圈赢的 I won those at Coney Island on the ring toss.
曾经我赢过一只玩具熊 这些东西倒是没见过 I won a stuffed bear once, but never one of these.
你技术一定很不错，滑头 Must be good, slick.
好吧，先生，能赢到什么这是我的事 All right, sir, I was minding my own business.
我在等我朋友，顺便说下 I was waiting for my girl, who, by the way.
我不见了她现在一定担心得要命 Is probably worried sick looking for me right now.
所以我得拿回我的东西回去见她 So I just need my things and I need to get back to her.
她叫什么？ What's her name?
什么？ Huh?
你女朋友，她叫什么？ Your gal, what's her name?
史特瑞恩 Schtaron.
史特瑞恩？ Schtaron?
我打赌史特瑞恩就是你的制服，对吧？ I bet Schtaron likes that suit of yours. Hm?
什么，穿黑制服犯法吗？ What, it's a crime to wear a black suit?
好吧，听着，我没做错什么 All right, listen. I haven't done anything wrong.
我要离开这，不想和你再谈了 And I need to get out of here. I cannot be here with you.
非常抱歉，因为康尼岛的事X快崩溃了 Terribly sorry. X is frightfully upset about the whole Coney Island incident.
多谢提醒 Thanks for the heads-up.
哦，伙计，这咖啡味道可不怎么样 Oh, man, this coffee tastes like dirt.
- 什么样才和你口味？这可是 - 早上现磨的咖啡 What do you expect? It was- J: Just ground this morning.
你是O？ O?
不，我称女士为O No, I call ladies "O."
对我来说，O是女性，K是男性 To me, O is feminine, K is masculine.
这就好比我喜欢的词“O-K” You know, I see a couple, I'm like, "O-K."
一团糟，有伤亡报告吗？ What a mess. Any casualties?
是的，预言家罗曼 Yes, Roman the Fabulist.
人类有伤亡吗？ Any human casualties?
没有，先生 No, sir.
这家伙是谁？ Who the hell is this?
我是… Look, I was...
- 一个迷路的 - 送到43号房间，没事就放他走 Stray human caught in the net. Code 43 him and throw him back.
您该去参加 与维格安星人的会议了 You're late for a meeting with the Viagrans.
他们发明了一种革命性的新药物 They have a revolutionary new pill.
真的是… It's really...
好了，滑头 Okay, slick.
我在等我的女友 I was waiting for my girl.
史特瑞恩 Schtaron.
没错，希腊人 Yes, she's Greek.
好吧，最后一件事，眼科检查 Okay. Just one last thing. An eye exam..
这根本不是眼科检查，K 这是他妈的大号记忆消除器 That's not an eye exam, K. That's a big-ass neuralyzer!
你看着傻呼呼的，知道的还不少 You have a lot of information for a fella who doesn't know anything.
我都明白 J: I see what you're saying.
哇哦，你知道的,K 咱等会行吗 Whoa. You know, K, we need to hold up a second.
K！ K!
先戴上牙套 TECHNICIAN: Let's get this bile guard in here.
滚开，滚开 Hey. Back up. Back up.
K,听着，咱们不该以这种方式开头，对吗？ K, listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot, all right?
咱们停下来谈谈吧 So let's just stop for a second and talk.
别让我进去，K！ Don't put me in here, K!
太晚了，种马 Too late, hoss.
K，不，听我说 我能帮你摆脱困境！ K, no, listen to me. I can help you with this case!
K！ K!
这次是说真的！看我表情就知道了！ I'm doing the truth face! You're missing it!
我想象一下就行了 Ah, I'll just use my imagination.
K,你在找的杀手 J: K, the killer
我也在找他，是伯格罗多星人 you're looking for, I'm after the same guy. A Boglodite.
他叫鲍里斯 His name is Boris.
设备已启动，朋友 Ship has sailed, amigo.
如果咱们抓不到他，就会有两个他 J: If we don't get him, there'll be two.
我没骗你 You had my undivided attention.
一个有一只胳膊 J: One will have one arm
一个有两只胳膊 and one's gonna have two. Kl.
听我说！ Listen to me!
如果你毁掉我的记忆 If you erase me.
就等于毁掉世界！ You erase the world!
还有15秒 COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Fifteen seconds
执行记忆删除程序，14秒 to neuralyzation. Fourteen.
13秒，12秒 Thirteen. Twelve.
11秒，10秒，9秒 Eleven. Ten. Nine.
当你明天看到鲍里斯时，杀了他 别抓他，直接杀了他！ When you see Boris tomorrow, K, kill him. Do not arrest him, kill him!
4秒，3秒，2秒 Four. Three. Two.
这东西关了吗？还没完全关闭吧？ Is this thing off? Hey, I don't think it's all the way off, K!
还在嗡嗡响呢 It's whirring and buzzing.
我是不是什么都不知道了 I don't know if I don't know nothing
我认识罗曼 I knew Roman.
曾经吃过他妻子做的晚餐 虽然味道不怎么样 His wife cooked me dinner once. While it was not pleasant,
但他是我朋友 he was my friend.
最后一次机会，你是谁你想干什么？ Last chance, who are you and what do you know?
我是来自未来的MIB探员 I'm an agent at Men In Black
咱们俩是搭档 from I'm from the future. We're partners.
25年后你会雇我 In 25 years, you'll recruit me,
再等14年，今天你阻止我要杀的那家伙 and 14 years after that, the guy you didn't let me kill today
从监狱里逃出来，回到过去 Escapes from prison, jumps to the past
并且开始时入侵地球 我们还有19小时可以杀了他 and unleashes an invasion of Earth. We got about 19 hours to kill him,
所以咱们现在就得行动 so, really, we need to go right now.
好吧 All right.
所以你相信我说的故事了 So that's the story you believe.
我相信是真的 That one was the truth.
虽然不一定都是真的 但可以满足目前需要 Wasn't the whole truth, but it'll do for now.
你以为呢？当然都是真的 What are you talking about? Of course it's the whole truth.
咱们之间唯一的谎言就是你曾经… The problem with a lie is once you start lying you put yourself...
K探员 X: Agent K.
他还在这干什么？ What's he still doing here?
我审了他很久，该让他回去了 I might have cooked him too long. Thought I'd walk him out.
咱俩是好基友 I put my pants on.
未来之人，咱去哪？ Okay, future man, where to?
我不知道 I don't know.
什么意思？ What do you mean?
我不知道，去你最后到的地方？ I don't know. Uh... Go wherever you went last time.
难道我没告诉你我要去哪吗？ I haven't been here. I didn't tell you where I went?
没，我是说，咱俩根本就没怎么谈过 No. I mean, we don't really talk.
什么样的搭档才能 相处14年都没怎么说过话 What kind of partners sit in a car every day for 14 years and don't talk?
没错，这就是问题所在 Exactly. And this is the type of problem it causes.
这可不好 It's dysfunctional.
好吧，你最好现在就能证明自己的能力 否则就给我回43号房间里呆着 All right, sport, you better get useful real quick or you go back in room 43.
伙计… Man...
额… Uh- The, uh...
还有个什么关于工厂的 There was something in the file about a factory.
在工厂有事发生 Something happened at a factory.
老兄，你怎么瞪我都没用 Hey, look, man, you can put your Jedi Knight on me all you want.
这就是我知道的 That's all I got.
提醒你什么了？ That spark something?
罗曼死的时候身上带着这个 Roman had this on his person when he was murdered.
一个纸板火柴 J: It's a matchbook.
不，这是线索 No, it's a clue.
他不抽烟 He didn't smoke.
呀喝 （《I’m An Old Cowhand》） Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay
呀喝 Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay
我是个老牛仔 I'm an old cowhand
来自格兰德河 From the Rio Grande
我在牛仔乐队中唱着这首歌 And I sing this song In the cowboy band
我熟知所有牛仔之歌 I know all the songs That the cowboys know about
有什么不对劲吗？老兄 You lose something over here, Hondo?
没有 No. Uh...
你多大了？ Hey, man, how old are you?
呀喝！他是个老牛仔 Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay He's an old cowhand
29岁 Twenty-nine.
长得够着急的 Oof. You got some city miles on you.
貌似我知道为啥咱俩没话说了 I'm starting to understand why we don't talk.
（宇宙保龄球馆） what
- 你怎么知道这地方？ - 名气大 How well do you know this place? I know its reputation.
我不喜欢盲目做事，我需要我的枪 I don't like it. I hate going in blind. I'm gonna need my gun.
可以，滑头 Sure thing, slick.
K，等等，别，我得和你一起去！ Whoa, K! Wait, no, I gotta go in with you!
你别动就好，我去搞定 You sit tight. I'll be fine.
等等，别！别去！ Wait, no! No!
K！ K!
K，别自己去！ K, don't go in by yourself!
嗨，伙计们 Hi, fellas.
见你们老板 Need to see the boss.
他忙着呢 He's busy.
哼 Hm.
好吧，那我随便逛逛 Well, I'm gonna just lake a look around.
貌似打个平手 Looks like we have ourselves a standoff.
应该是 Looks that way.
- 还把钥匙放烟灰缸底下 - 算你走运 Still keep the key under the ashtray. Lucky guess.
这是什么地方？ Now, where were we?
把我头拧下来也不会告诉你们 I was about to tell you to screw off,
滑头，保龄球玩的如何？ Hey, slick, you bowl in the future?
连续3年MIB联赛冠军 MiB league champ, three years running.
好吧，让我瞧瞧 Well, let's see it.
你不能就这么大摇大摆的进来 Unh! You did not walk into my.
拧下我的头！ Establishment and rip my head off!
伙计，你时日不多了，跟他说实话吧 My man, we don't have a lot of time. You really need to tell him something.
说个屌！ I'll 'tell him 'this!
好吧，你选的 All right, your head.
等等，嘿，如果你这么干 我不会放过你的 MAN: Wait. Hey, if you do this, I am gonna hunt you down
肯定让你 and make sure you
一辈子 walk funny for the rest
吃不了兜着走 of your miserable last days on Earth! Unh!
- 看你剩这两个，滑头 - 上帝！ Tough spare, slick. God!
你们惹错人了！ MAN: You messed with the wrong head!
他头有点… His head's a little... K: You gonna tell us
快说他在哪 where Dom is?
我要杀了你们，你们俩死定了！ MAN: I'll kill you both. I'll kill both of youse!
- 喔！ - 嗷！ Ooh! Ow!
球上有汗水太滑了吧 用我帮你清理下吗？ Your hook's a little off. Want me to clean her?
- 好啊 - 别，别，别 Sure thing. MAN: No, no, no.
拜托，早上我用这个洗过头了 Come on, I just cleaned the bathroom with this thing!
别洗了！别洗了！ No cleaning! No cleaning!
行了！行了！够了，他在后面 Okay! Okay, all right! All right, he's in the back.
但他不会和你这种黑衣人渣谈的 But he's not gonna talk to any Men in Black scum like you.
现在把我头放回去 Now give me back my head.
K，我管这叫“胜利在望” K, I call this one 'Low Hanging Fruit.'.
这可不是手指孔 MAN: That ain't a finger hole,
你个王八蛋！嗷！ you sick bastard! Ow!
我会以其人之道 I'll pop your head off
还治其人之身 and see how you like it.
噢！ Ooh!
我要杀了你们！ MAN: I'm gonna kill both of you!
你们死定了！ I'm gonna kill the both of youse!
我会杀了你们的 I'll kill you both.
咱们来对地方了，就是时机不适合 Well, we're on the right track. Just the wrong train.
如果他有什么秘密 K: If he had any secrets,
估计已经招了 I'm guessing he spilled them.
聪明人会多谋善断 A smart man figures out what victims have in common.
没错 A smart man would.
那是大哥大吗 That's a big-ass phone.
- 这东西辐射可不小 - O探员 Don't put that up to your head. Agent O.
今天进展如何，K探员？ How's your day been, Agent K?
马马虎虎 Oh, fair to middling.
你怎么样？ How are things going?
还不错，谢谢 O: Very good, thank you.
一小时前你们不见过面吗 Hey, you saw her like an hour ago.
我在宇宙保龄球馆 派人来清理隔离现场 I need cleanup and containment at Cosmic Lanes.
我这有一个帕莱先星人受害者 Listen, I got a dead Parlaxian.
如果没猜错的话，罗曼是巴沃尔德星人 Now Roman was a Byvoid, correct me if I'm wrong,
这两个星球属同一星系，都是三角星座里的 from the same planetary grouping? A system in the Triangulum Galaxy
并且都让伯格罗多星人占领了 wiped out by Boglodites.
第三个星球呢？ Wasn't the third planet-?
- Glamouria星球？ - Glamouria星球 （真实存在的《魅力》杂志美国版） K & J: Glamouria? Glamouria.
谢谢，O小姐 Thank you, Miss O.
我知道鲍里斯接下来会去哪 I know where Boris is headed to next.
你说得没错，滑头 不过不是工厂，是时尚派对 You were close, slick. It's not a factory, it's the Factory.
如果鲍里斯来着，我会杀了他的 Look, if Boris turns out to be here, I'm gonna kill him.
- 把枪给我 - 没门 I need my gun. No deal.
我做了14年探员 I've been an agent for 14 years.
作为高级探员经验比你丰富 现在我不想摆架子 Which means I'm the senior agent on this case. Now, I hate to pull rank,
但我必须要求你这个初级探员 but I am instructing my junior agent,
把枪还给我，马上！这是命令 that's you, to give me my gun right now. That's an order.
不，不，不，太空枪 No, no, no, space gun.
不客气 You're welcome.
我没说谢谢 I didn't say thank you.
这么难看的物种，来地球干什么 For such an ungainly species, they've thrived on Earth.
当了3年探员 I was an agent for three years
才知道所有模特都是外星人 before I realized all models were aliens.
算是历尽艰险 Found out the hard way.
口令? Password?
60年代的时髦小伙 咱可没时间跟你耗着 Hey, look, funky '60s dude, we don't have a lot of time.
詹尼斯·乔普林 Janis Joplin.
当我仰望天空 （《Pictures Of Matchstick Men》） When I look up to the sky
看到你的眼睛 I see your eyes
奇异的黄色 A funny kind of yellow
这里全是外星人吧？ ls there anybody here who's not an alien?
跑回家躺在床上 怀疑是否脑子进水了 I rush home to bed I soak my head
真不错 Very nice.
眨眼，太好了 Blink. That's good.
往摄像机这边看 Look in the camera.
那是安迪·沃霍尔？ （20世纪艺术界知名人士） Is that Andy Warhol?
是他 Yep.
打扰一下，沃霍尔先生，有时间吗？ Excuse me, Mr. Warhol, could we have a minute?
现在可不是时候，我这忙着呢 Now is not a good time. This is a be-in.
有几个 K: Just a few
问题想问你 questions.
我不会回答的 No questions. No answers.
我还有事 Just being.
我们有急事要跟你谈下 We have an urgent matter we would like to discuss with you
关于这次派对上的一个客人 regarding one of your party guests.
为什么你们不下周再来 Why don't you come back
等事情 next week, after the happening
结束的时候 has happened.
抱歉，沃霍尔先生 你语速太慢，时间不等人 Sorry, Mr. Warhol. You like talking slow. We got stuff to do.
我还得拯救地球呢 I've got a planet to save.
你真无礼 WARHOL: You're distressing. Everything
令我很不舒服 about you upsets me Unh! Unh!
该死，K！你想让我暴露身份吗？ Damn it, K! Are you trying to blow my cover?
W探员，没事的 Agent W, your cover is safe.
安迪·沃霍尔是自己人？ Whoa, Andy Warhol is one of us?
没事？ WARHOL: Safe?
你疯了吗？我都没招了 You out of your mind? I'm so out of ideas
只能画画罐头和香蕉 I'm painting cans and bananas for chrissakas.
实际上，沃霍尔先生 我得告诉你我喜欢你的工作 Actually, Mr. Warhol, I gotta tell you, I love your work.
谢谢 Oh. Oh, thank you.
那蠢驴是谁？ Who's the dumb-ass?
噢，等下，能不能礼貌一点？ Whoa. Hey. How about a little professional courtesy here?
- 什么，蠢驴吗？ - 你敢再说一遍 What, dumb-ass? Say it again.
- 你想听？ - 我打赌你不敢 Want me to? I dare you.
蠢驴 Dumb-ass.
- 两位特工 - 和安迪·沃霍尔相比 Agents. I have no problem
你就是一坨屎 pimp-slapping the shiznit out of Andy Warhol.
什么？ What?
看我干什么？ Why are you looking at me?
好吧，你知道吗？K探员 Oh, all right. You know what? Agent K,
你跟W探员慢慢唠吧 you see what information you can get from Agent W
我到外面看看 and I'll go case the perimeter.
- 这样行了吧？ - 干你的活去吧 That work for everybody? Go do that.
- 这个如何？ - 小屁孩 How about that? Oh, cub.
- 满意了 - 很好 Okay. Very nice.
某人不觉得自己很幼稚吗？ Someone forget his nap? Huh?
火柴男的海市蜃楼和你 Mirages of matchstick men and you
他们永远在我眼前 All I ever see is them
嘿，你好吗？ Hey, how you doing?
不好 Chilling.
你和这家伙在一起 你的谎言让他伤心欲绝 You're with this guy You make men cry, you lie
那家伙是谁？ WARHOL: Who's that guy?
别告诉我他是你的新搭档 Don't tell me he's your new partner.
实际上他是我的老搭档，他来自未来… Actually, he's my old partner. He traveled back from the future...
停，别说了，我不想知道 Stop, don't tell me. I don't want to know.
安迪，洋子来了 WOMAN: Andy, Yoko's here.
洋子来了，额… Yoko's here. Uh- Ahem.
告诉她我在为这人拍吃汉堡的戏 Tell her that I'm filming this man eating a hamburger. Um...
这棒极了 It's transcendent.
好吧，该换泡菜了 Uh, all right, now the pickle.
我在等属于我的人 I'm waiting for my man
你在我地盘干什么？ What are you doing on my turf?
追踪一个杀手，伯格罗多星人 Tracking a killer. Boglodite.
我们认为他会来这找一个格罗莫尼亚星人 We believe he's gonna hit here next, a Glamourian.
格罗莫尼亚？星系没错，但星球不对 Glamourian? Right solar system, wrong planet.
他的目标是Archanan He's gotta be after the Archanan.
Archanan已经灭绝了 Archanans are extinct.
显然没有，上周海滩出现一个 Apparently not. Ono washed ashore last week.
整个罗斯威尔都在议论这事 （著名外星人现身地点） The whole Roswell circuits all abuzz about it.
其实他们还有最后一人 Alien unicorn. Last of its species.
他叫格里芬 His name's Griffin Mm.
阿查南星人，格里芬 WARHOL: Griffin the Archanan.
我在等属于我的人 I'm waiting for my man
还好吗？ How's it going?
还好吗？这个我说了不算，就我个人来讲，还不错 Going? How's it going? That depends. For me, personally, things are good.
除非一会 Unless we're in the future
那肌肉男和他女友吵架 where the muscle boy argues with his girlfriend.
她气冲冲离开，恰巧撞到了端蘑菇的人 She storms off and bumps the guy with the stuffed mushrooms,
托盘倒在水兵身上 who dumps the tray on the sailors .
一番推搡后 A shoving maths breaks out.
水兵撞到了桌子，若是这样，我得拿走我的盘子 They crash into the table. In which case, I gotta move my plate.
过会我吃完这牛肉三明治 Or it's the future where the pastrami sandwich I'm eating
会导致胃肠不适 causes me gastric distress.
还好你朋友把右口袋里的胃药给了我 Thankfully, your friend offers the antacids he carries
然后我就好了，没事了 in his right pocket, so good. I'll be good.
除了一会我必须 Except in the future where I have to leave in two minutes
在他给我胃药前离开 before he has a chance to offer me the antacids,
总的来说，我并不好 so on the whole, I'd have to say not good. I am not good.
但不是我能决定的 But that depends.
K！快来 K!
我们怎么才能找到他？ How will we find this guy?
你以为我是什么，蠢货吗？ What am I, schmuck?
他在这？ He's here?
“在这”只是一个相对概念 他是五维空间的生物 'Here' is a relative term. He's a fifth dimensional being.
他可能在时空的任一点上 They can live in and visualize an infinite set
同时出现 of time-space probabilities simultaneously.
听起来很厉害，做得好 Sounds like fun. Good work.
等下，K，K，K Whoa, whoa. K, K, K.
你得假装我死了，好吗？ You gotta fake my death, okay?
我再也受不了这种卧底生活了 I can't listen to sitar music any more.
好吧，我尽力，我会和X说的 All right, I'll see what I can do I'll talk to X.
K，我真的受够了 K, I can't tell the women from the men.
几点了？ May I see your watch?
现在是7:18 Oh, it is 7:18.
不，是另一只怀表，你父亲给你的 No, no, your other watch, the one your father gave you.
你怎么知道我爸的怀表？ How do you know about my father's watch?
陌生的啤酒 Strange brew
哎呀 Oh, dear.
这就是罗曼 This is the one where Roman is dead
和保龄馆的人被杀时在旁边的表 充满了死亡气息 and the gentleman at the bowling alley. So much death.
几乎没什么胜算 Such an infinitesimally small chance for success.
K快来！ K!
格里芬？ Griffin, right?
我们在这… We're here...
因为鲍里斯 Because of Boris.
我们认为他会… We think he's coming...
来杀我，他几分钟就到 To kill me. He'll be here in minutes
除非 unless we're in
一路绿灯他能早到 the future where he made the lights
他会 and is about
从大门进来 to shoot from the door,
不一会咱们就全挂了 in which case we're all dead.
那是比较靠谱的 Ah, good, that was close one.
K，我需要太空枪 K, I need a space gun.
伯格罗多星人 GRIFFIN: The Boglodiltes
走一路杀一路 consume any planet in their path.
我的星球，罗曼的星球，帕莱先星球 Mine, Roman's, the Parlaxians'.
我设法阻止他们，但如果我们可以在这阻止他 让他们地球在地球全军覆没 I tried to stop them, but if we stop them here, if we deny them Earth,
他们就完了 we can stop them. They'll starve before
再也不会祸害其它星球了 they reach the next planet.
还有63秒 Pfft. Sixty-three seconds.
我们怎么做才能组织他们？ How do we do that? Stop them?
什么？ What? Oh!
抱歉，我给你点东西 Sorry. I have something for you.
一份礼物，可以保护你 A gift. It can protect you
因为鲍里斯要来了我得把它藏起来 如果你还能找到我 I had to hide it from Boris, but if you find me again,
我会把它给你 I'll give it to you.
谢谢，多棒的球赛！难以置信！真是奇迹！ Thank you. What a game! Amazing! It's a real miracle!
等下，你说什么？什么奇迹？ Whoa. What do you mean? What miracle?
还有30秒，我得走了 Thirty seconds. I have to go.
不，我们可以保护你 No, we got you.
我们说话时死亡可能性就在增加 Negative possibilities are multiplying as we speak.
还有20秒 Okay. Twenty seconds.
好吧 All right.
我们应付，放松点 We got it, relax.
如果你的表坏了，我有胃痛… If your watch is broken and I have gastric...
飞啊！看看这个世界！ MAN: Fly! Find your place in the world!
喔，哎呀 GRIFFIN: Oh, dear.
鲍里斯要从大门进来了 Boris is coming through that door
12秒 in 12.
11秒，10秒… 11,10...
等等！ Wait!
你喝巧克力牛奶了？ Did you have chocolate milk?
什么？喝了 What-? Yes.
辛迪 GRIFFIN: Cindy.
K！ K!
抓住格里芬！ Got him Griffin!
该死！ Damn it!
哎呦！ Ouch!
我没事，我没事 I'm good, I'm good.
格里芬呢？ What you got?
跑了
该死！都抓住他了 Damn it! We had him!
放松，科奇斯，他跑不了 Relax, Cochise. We'll find him.
首先，我叫J，明白吗？ First of all, my name is J, okay?
不是什么孩子，滑头 更不是什么“酋长” （亚利桑那州著名印第安酋长“科奇斯”） It's not 'son, ' it's not 'slick' and it damn sure ain't no 'Cochise.'
我紧张以为咱们没多少时间了 I'm not gonna relax because we're running out of time
入侵就快开始了 and there's an invasion coming.
难道你真没感觉到 我的声音有多紧张吗 You're not really recognizing my voicial intensity.
但有一个人可以帮我们 Oh, but there was one guy who could help.
格里芬，格里芬，他人呢？ Hey, Griffin Griffin Where's Griffin?
格里芬，哪去了，K？ Griffin. Where's Griffin at, K?
他不见了，如果鲍里斯在我们之前抓到他 可就没什么希望了 He's gone. If Boris gets to him before we do, that's no bueno.
我们需要吃点派 We need pie.
- 什么？ - 我爷爷一直说： What? My granddaddy always said:
如果有解决不了的问题 'If you got a problem you can't solve,
这时候吃点派会有帮助的 it helps to get out of your head.' Pie. It's good.
- 派？ - 是啊 Pie? Yeah.
你爷爷体格很棒吧？ Your granddaddy, heavyset man?
- 还行 - 你知道吗？ A little bit. Yeah, you know what?
咱们一直做得不错 We've been doing smart stuff.
总是顺着线索办好案子 We've been following clues, doing police work.
可能也有做错事的时候 It might be time we do something stupid.
虽然一事无成，但我们尽力了 Something that ain't got nothing to do with nothing.
现在我也想吃派,K 太想吃派了 Now, I want some pie, K. I want some pie.
咱俩去吃派吧 Let's go get dumb-ass pie.
好主意 Sounds good.
寂静温暖的夏之夜 （《A Summer Song》） Sweet, sleepy warmth Of summer nights
嗯嗯 Uh-uh.
嗯哼 Mm.
他们说一切美好终归会烟消云散 They say that all good things Must end some day '.
嗯... Hmm...
有特色菜吗？ Have any specials?
他总是盯着菜单10分钟后才说出一句 He'll have what he always has after he reads the menu for 10 minutes
有特色菜吗 and asks about specials.
最后还是要一份芝士苹果派 A slice of apple pie with a nasty piece of cheddar.
我要草莓派 I'll have the strawberry-rhubarb.
这可是我最后一餐，浪费点无所谓 It's my last meal, I'm gonna splurge.
世界顶尖杀人魔就在外面 咱俩还有心情在这吃派 World-class serial killer out there and we're having pie.
业余时间你都做什么？ What do you do in your spare time, stretch?
啊！ Oh!
我看你没明白我的意思 See, I sense you're not embracing the concept here.
放松的吃派更有利于工作 Pie don't work unless you let it.
我正要尝试一下 I'm gonna let it.
你说过咱俩不怎么聊天？ And you say we don't talk?
来吧，问我任何你想知道的问题？ You go ahead. Ask me any question. Anything you want.
只要和案子无关，什么都行 As long as it doesn't have to do with the case. Just let her rip.
你和O咋回事？ What's up with you and O?
我和O？ Me and O?
啊哈，没错，你和O Ha-ha-ha. Yeah, you and O.
好吧，好吧 All right, all right.
是这么回事 All fight, this is it.
前阵子上头让我调查一个音乐家 A while back, I was assigned to keep tabs on a musician.
米克·贾格？ Mick Jagger?
他是英国滚石乐队成员 He's in this British band, the Rolling Stones.
很耳熟 Rings a bell.
我们认为他来地球就是为了 和地球女人繁殖后代 We believed he was on the planet to breed with Earth women.
所以我就到了伦敦 也就在这时遇见了O So I was in London and that's when I met O.
她很聪明，有趣，笑容迷人 Just smart. Funny. A great smile.
我们在酒吧碰见的 And we find ourselves in this pub, which is a bar, all right?
啤酒是温的而且食物非常难吃 Warm beer and the worst food you ever ate.
所以我们就一直玩飞镖，直到天亮 We just played darts till the sun came up.
谁也不想离开 Neither of us wanted to leave.
后来你怎么变了？ What the hell happened to you, man?
不知道，那些事还没发生呢 I don't know. It hasn't happened yet.
你呢，滑头？有女朋友吗？ Come on, what about you, slick? In the future, you got yourself a girl?
有你就够了 I got you.
不敢相信，操蛋的大都会队（纽约棒球队） MAN 1: I cannot believe this, freaking New York Mets.
简直就是废物 MAN 2: Total losers!
做为大都会的粉丝心里可不好受 It's a rough time to be a Mets fan.
可不是吗 从来没赢过小熊队（芝加哥棒球队） Tell me about it. Never gonna catch the Cubs.
有意思，其实大都会最后夺冠了 That's funny. The Mets actually win it all this year.
是吗 Oh, yeah.
不，我是说真的 No, I'm serious.
我知道 Oh, I'm sure.
三个月后，那家伙 Look, three months from now, your buddies down there
就得称他们为不可思议的大都会 are gonna be calling them the Amazing Mets
大都会是个奇迹 and the Miracle Mets.
怎么？ What?
你想到什么了？ What you got there, hoss?
那阿查南星人说过：“太神奇了 就是个奇迹，我看球赛时也看到你了” The Archanan said, 'lt's amazing it's a miracle I'll see you at the game.'
我知道他在哪 I know where he is.
都跟你说过了吃派绝对好使 Told you to trust the pie.
如果格里芬来这看球赛 现在也不是时候啊 K: If Griffin's here for a game, he's either too early or too late.
他在这，我们得在鲍里斯之前找到他 J: He's here. We just gotta find him before Boris does.
该把东西还给你了 It's time to give you your things back,
搭档 partner.
吃完派你还有人情味儿了 You get some pie in you, you get all mushy.
只是枪太沉了而已 I'm just tired of carrying your stuff.
加油啊！好球！再来一个 GRIFFIN: Boo! Ah, come on now! All right! Let's go,
大都会！ Mets!
加油！大都会！加油！ Let's go, Mets! Let's go,
- 大都会！加油! - 格里芬？ Mets! Let's go, Met- Griffin?
喔！ Oh!
来得正好！ You're just in time!
要不是罗宾逊的这几次失误，比赛就结束了 Unless this is the one where Robinson bad-hops it past third, it's almost over.
喔！ Whoo!
我们错过什么了吗？ Are we missing something?
球赛 The game.
哇哦 J: Whoa.
你就是这么看东西的？真神奇 So this is how you see things? This is amazing.
这能力很讨厌，但有时用下也不错 It's a gigantic pain in the ass. But it has its moments.
这可是10月份的比赛 This game doesn't happen fill October.
我能看到10月 It's always October
11月，3月的比赛 and November and March.
当未来展现在你眼前，一切都那么真实 你不会知道会发生什么 So many futures, and all real. Don't know which will coalesce.
直到那时，发生转折的一刻 Until then, they're all happening.
就像这个，是我最难忘的时刻 Like this one, it's my favourite moment in human history.
一切有利因素都在大都会这边 让他们赢得世界冠军 All the things that had to converge for the Mets to win the World Series.
虽然每个赛季他们都是最后一名 但从现在开始就不一样了 They were in last place every single season until they won it all.
你说有礼物要给我们 You said you had a gift.
那个棒球 That baseball,
就是第五场比赛最后投出去的 由麻省奇科皮的斯波尔丁制造的 thrown for the last out of game five, manufactured in '62 by Spalding
由于棒球皮革没有 of Chicopee, Massachusetts, was aerodynamically ﬂawed
正确晾晒导致存在力学缺陷 due to the horsehide being improperly tanned
因为制革工人的妻子让他 because the tanner's wife left him
为一个波多黎各职业高尔夫球选手服务 for a Puerto Rican golf pro...
礼物呢？ Um, the gift?
当然，在盒子里 Oh, yes, of course. In the box.
这可是个惊喜，可以保卫地球 Uh, it's the surprise. To protect the Earth.
这个是盾牌 It's a shield.
盾牌 J: Shield.
阿查南星人，天穹网 你建造的天穹网 Archanan. Arc Net. You put up the Arc Net.
- 怎么用？ - 当球投给 How? When that ball is pitched to
戴维·约翰逊 Davey Johnson,
约翰逊之所以成为棒球手 vvho became a player
因为他父亲在他生日时没弄到橄榄球给他 because his dad couldn't find a football to give him for his birthday,
击打时 it hits
球棒偏高了2微米 his bat two micrometers too high,
球刚好被克里昂·琼斯接住 popping out to Cleon Jones
克里昂本应该是克拉拉 who would've been born Clara, a statistical
一个从事打字员工作的女孩 如果他父母在造人当晚 typist, if his parents didn't have an extra glass of wine that night
没喝那么多酒的话 before going to bed
奇迹出现时 A miracle
总是觉得不可思议，其实早已命中注定 is what seems impossible but happens anyway.
我的星球已经被毁了 I lost my planet.
我不希望地球也遭受同样厄运 I don't want you to lose yours.
它会带来奇迹，如果你们成功了 It'll lake a miracle, but if you pull this off,
这会是人类历史上 you'll be my new favourite moment
最难忘的时刻 in human history.
哎呀 Oh, dear.
我忘了还有这场好戏 I forgot to see this one coming.
该死！ Damn it!
未来有这玩意嘛？ Have these in the future?
没有 No.
骑上去 Get on.
保持回转仪零增益 Keep gyro settings at zero gain.
迅速扳动中央轴可以在 倾斜和偏航时保持平衡 Balance pitch and yaw with bursts on the center stalk
压力介于80-100磅每平方英寸 between 80 and 100 psi.
根本没听懂 J: Aah! I didn't understand.
你说的这些！ Any of that!
- 回转仪设置到零增益 - 现在就是 Gyro at zero gain. It is.
在倾斜和偏航时迅速扳动中央轴 Pitch and yaw with short bursts on the center stalk.
我做了 I did.
压力介于80-100磅每平方英寸 Between 80 and 100 psi.
明白了 Got it.
哇哦！ Whoa!
把天穹网给我！ BORIS: The Arc Net! Give it to me!
你找不到的 GRIFFIN: This isn't the one where you get it!
- 感觉怎么样，头儿？ - 还行 All right there, chief? Hell, yeah.
要是4个轮子就好了 It'd be better with four wheels!
至少也得两个吧 Two is, like, my minimum.
如果鲍里斯拿到天穹网会怎样？ K: What happens if Boris gets the Arc Net?
伯格罗多星人会大举入侵，地球毁灭！ J: Boglodite invasion, total destruction of Earth!
盒子！ The box!
好孩子 Good boy.
咱们得阻止他！ We gotta stop this guy!
我一直在努力！ J: I've been trying!
你努力过？ You haven't been trying?
滑头 K: Hey, slick.
在未来，还有人跳德州两步舞吗？ In the future, we ever do the Texas two-step?
有，长官！ Yes, sir!
抓到他了吗？ Did you get him?
给我点时间 Give me a sec.
他死了？ Is he dead?
没有 Negative.
他跑了 He got away.
格里芬没事，咱们走吧 I got Griffin. Let's get out of here.
我已经有年轻的感觉了 I feel younger already.
（1969年7月16日凌晨3:06）
你这个可怜的废物 You pathetic waste of Boglodite flesh.
如果你跟我没关系 我立刻就杀了你 I'd kill you right now, if I didn't value my own life.
- 你是谁？ - 看看你自己 Who are you? Look at you.
眼看我的过失即将发生 Every mistake I've ever made, just waiting to happen.
我的胳膊怎么了？ What happened to my arm?
被人类打断了 You lose it, shot off by a human.
人类不可能击败我 No human could defeat me.
接下来你在监狱呆了40年 像野兽一样被锁住 You spend the next 40 years in prison, chained up like an animal.
没有我逃不出的监狱！ No prison can hold me!
这是他们特别为我们建造的，在月球上 They built one especially for us, on the moon.
人类还没登月呢 No human has been to the moon,
所以他们不能在那建监狱 so they cannot have built it there already.
别跟我争！ 如果听我的你就能避免这一切 Stop arguing! You can avoid all of that if you just listen to me!
你输了！是你让我的胳膊被打断的！ You were defeated! You let it get shot off!
不是我，是你！ That wasn't me, that was you!
你有什么计划？ What's your plan?
阻止建造天穹网 Prevent the Arc Net from being deployed.
- 杀光想阻止我们的人 - 好主意 Kill anyone who tries Good plan.
没我的帮忙 Didn't work.
你干不成 With my help.
弄到天穹网，杀了K探员 We'll get the Arc Net, kill Agent K,
我们就无可匹敌了！ the invasion will be successful
咱们俩都能有两只胳膊…… and we'll get to keep both
啊！ of our ar...! Argh! Stop
别盯着它看！ sharing at it!
听着 Listen.
- 你还好吗？ - 谢谢你救了我 You all right? Yeah. Thank you for saving my life.
应该做的 It's what we do.
天穹网还在你那吗？ You still have the Arc Net?
情况越糟 When you're being hunted by Boris the Animal,
越能急中生智 you get good at hiding things.
哇哦 J: Whoa.
这可以拯救地球 This will save your world.
一旦暴露在大气层中 Once it's outside the atmosphere, it gets
会形成巨大的防护罩 a whole lot bigger.
你们得去部署它了 All you have to do is deploy it.
你是指在太空吗？你想让我们怎么做？ You mean in space? Well, how do you suppose we do that?
这并不难 Ah, it's just one small step.
（纽约时报：今日发射月球火箭！）
月球火箭 The moon launch.
卡纳维拉尔角 Cape Canaveral.
1969年7月16日 July 16th, 1969.
我们得用6小时内到达佛罗里达 We got six hours to get to Florida.
最好赶快出发，滑头 Better get a move on, slick.
等等，听我说 Uh, wait, uh, hold up.
不用两个人一起 我自己去就行了 Not us. Uh, I'm gonna do this one alone.
他必须得… He has to be the...
格里芬，嘘 Griffin. Shh-shh-shh.
你什么意思，自己？ What do you mean, alone?
我独自去佛罗里达，你呆在这 I'm gonna go to Florida. You stay here.
你得相信我 I need you to trust me.
相信你？我可不这么想 有什么事瞒着我，滑头？ Trust you? I don't think so. Something you're not telling me, slick?
你不能去佛罗里达 You're not going to Florida.
不可能，搭档 That ain't gonna happen, partner.
瞧,K Look, K.
拜托，我不允许你佛罗里达 Please, I will not allow you to go to Florida.
那就阻止我 Stop me.
你在那死的！ You die there!
卡纳维拉尔角，阿波罗火箭发射 Cape Canaveral. Apollo launch.
鲍里斯在那杀了你 Boris kills you there.
这就是我来这的原因 That's what I'm here for.
我到这来就是为了阻止这一切 That's what I came back to stop.
哎呀，一波未平一波又起 Oh, dear. We're in this one.
K！ K...
我看过档案和报告 I saw the file, I looked at the report.
我说过告诉你的一切… I said I told you everything...
这拳为了你对我说谎 That's for lying to me.
我道歉还不行吗！ Look, I'm sorry, man!
啊！ Aah!
这拳为了告诉我真相！ That's for telling me the truth!
我只想保护你 I'm trying to protect you.
老兄！ Man!
啊！ Aah!
忠言逆耳利于行 The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lies.
嘘，嘘！ Shh-shh!
他必须得去卡纳维拉尔角 He has to go to Cape Canaveral.
必须由他部署天穹网，这是他的命运 He must deploy the Arc Net as he did before.
没别的办法 There's no other way.
拯救地球是他唯一的期望 K is the only hope in saving Earth.
我能拯救他吗？ Can I save him?
有没有哪个时间点我可以救他？ Is there any future where I save his life?
有 Yes.
但在死亡之地 But where there is death
总会有死亡发生 there will always be death.
按你说的，我之前都做过了 According to you, I've done this before.
所以肯定能行 So we know it's possible.
如果真像你说的那样 If you're half the agent you say you are,
就想办法别让我被杀 you'll make sure I don't get killed doing it.
我们不是搭档吗？你跟我说的 So are we partners? You tell me.
咱们出发 Let's go.
K探员 O: Agent K,
- 你好吗？ - 很好 how are you? I'm good.
等出发时再拥抱也不迟 Okay, group hug on the way to doing what we're doing.
今早宇航员将带着人类的期盼 This morning, man is about to launch himself on a trip to the moon
飞往月球并在那着陆 with the expectation of landing there.
我得问问你 Look, I gotta ask you.
如果我们成功了，建造了天穹网 If we pull this off, fix things the way they were,
我和O，是不是…？ O and I, are we...?
有个聪明人曾经跟我说过 A wise man once told me,
不该知道的就别问 don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
- 我说的，是吗？ - 是的，先生 I said that, didn't I? Yes, sir.
在这 O: Here they are.
- 他们是什么？ - 喷气飞行器 J: What are they? Jetpacks..
喷气飞行器？ Jetpacks?
不，我们不用喷气飞行器 No, no, no. We're not doing jetpacks.
未来也不会用 There's a reason we don't have these in the future.
K，咱们开车过去吧 K, we gotta drive.
从佛罗里达到曼哈顿岛 5小时可开不到，长官 Can't drive to Florida from Manhattan in five hours, chief.
可以的，按红色按钮 这是咱们专用车的标配 Yeah, we can. The red button, standard issue in every MiB car.
按下它，就能以超光速行驶 Press the red button, goes into hyperdrive.
别忘了红色按钮还没发明呢，滑头 No red buttons yet, slick.
拜托，伙计 Come on, man.
你知道 Do you know
这笨家伙怎么用吗？ how to work this stupid thing?
并不难 It's like with anything.
系上安全带，往好了想就行 Just have to strap yourself in, hope for the best.
我说的对吗，O小姐？ Isn't that right, Miss O?
很不幸，是的 Unfortunately, it is.
准备好没，滑头？ You ready, slick?
哦了 Let's get it.
这一定很有趣！ This is gonna be interesting!
具有历史意义的阿波罗11号 It's just minutes to the
一切准备就绪 historic launch of Apollo 11
即将发射 with all going well.
咱们这次没爆炸真好 I'm so glad this isn't one of the times we explode.
这次？ One of the times?
有麻烦了 Oh, we got company...
啥玩意？ The hell?
还得用电池吗？ Is that a battery belt?
好吧，我来 All right, I got it.
不，实际情况是你们得把部署天穹网 No, any reality that gets the shield deployed
的真相告诉他们才行 is one where you tell the truth.
真相？ The truth?
只有告诉他们真相才是唯一出路 The truth is the only path.
这里被封锁了 This is a restricted areal.
是啊，长官 Yes, sir, it is.
今天是个好日子，先生们 美国历史上伟大的一天，不是吗？ Good day, gentlemen. Great day for America, isn't it?
我是J探员，他是K探员，这是格里芬 My name is Agent J. This is Agent K. That's Griff.
我们隶属政府秘密组织 We're from a secret government organization
负责监督治理外星人活动 避免给地球带来困扰 that polices and monitors alien activity on and off planet Earth.
这有个东西 Heh, here's the thing.
是个很特别的金属制品 We have this special little metal thingy
格里芬给我的，我们得把他放到火箭上 that Griff gave us that we have to get on top of that rocket,
这样才可以阻止外星人入侵 heh, heh, to prevent an alien invasion.
这就行了 That worked.
- 效果立竿见影 - 长官，德拉门这边有情况 Like a charm. MP: Sir, Della Gate. We have a problem.
3人擅自闯入，没有身份证 但携带武器，长官 Three trespassers. No IDs, but they've got weapons, sir.
这东西从没见过 Some kind I've never seen before.
怎么会有这么蠢的人 What breed of fool do you have to be
在如此重要的日子 to penetrate my site on the day of the most massive feat
闯入我的地盘？ attempted by mankind?
在上帝，全体国民以及 Watched by God, the population of the planet and my own
- 我的儿子面前 - 上校 firstborn MP: Colonel?
上校，这是他们带的东西 Colonel, they had these.
他们说得把什么东西放在火箭上 They said they needed to put something on the rocket
来防止入侵 for an invasion.
谢谢 Thanks.
还有10分钟火箭发射 I got 10 minutes to launch.
如果这对火箭构成威胁 现在就告诉我，别撒谎 If you pose a threat to that rocket, you tell me now and do not lie to me.
我说的都是事实 I told the truth last time.
长官，他为了救我 Sir, this man came here from
从未来穿梭至今 the future to protect me
我可以在火箭顶端装上盾牌来拯救地球 so I can attach a shield to the top of that rocket and save the world.
这需要你的帮助 I need your help to do that.
把他带到禁闭室 Take them to the brig.
真有你的，格里芬 You're slipping, Griff.
长官，如果可以 Sir, if I may.
下士 Corporal.
你们可以走了 You men are no longer needed.
这些人交给我 I'll take the prisoners.
- 长官，你…？ - 退下 Sir, are you-? Dismissed.
跟我来 Follow me.
你用超能力让他看到什么了？ You did the future thing. What did you show him?
只是他应该知道的事 Only what he needed to see.
我得走了 I have to go now.
什么？不，来吧 What? No, no, no. Come on.
你不再需要我了 You don't need me any more.
好吧，格里芬，别逗我了 All right, Griff, don't start ﬂipping on me.
当鲍里斯断臂时 往事就已注定，K会没事的 When Boris' arm is taken, the past will be as it was. K will survive.
他不会知道你曾经来过这 He will not know you were ever here.
断臂，我知道，就像复位一样？ All right. Arm gone, got it. Like a reset?
当这事发生时 回到你原来的地方，离开这 When that happens, go home. Leave.
你还来不来？ You coming?
来 Yeah, all right!
多谢，老兄，我还会见到你吗？ Uh, thanks, man. Hey, will I ever see you again?
一切皆有可能 Anything's possible.
噢，格里芬 Oh, Griff.
真不忍心看到这一切 I can never bear to watch this part.
北美东部时间周一清晨 Armstrong and Aldrin are scheduled
阿姆斯特朗和奥尔德林 to set foot on the moon
将正式踏上月球之旅 on early Monday morning, Eastern Daylight Time.
格里芬呢？ Where's Griffin?
有事先走了 Doing his own thing.
先生们 COLONEL Gentlemen.
这电梯能把你们送到顶上 This elevator will take you to the top.
你们可以把天穹网 To get the Arc Net outside the atmosphere,
绑在太空舱上方的分离火箭上 来接触大气层 you need to strap it to the escape rocket above the capsule!
火箭发射时 You do not want to be
一定要离得远远的！ anywhere near this rocket when it takes off!
- 还有问题吗？ - 没了，谢谢你，上校 Questions? No. Thank you for this, colonel.
你们任务艰巨 Some job you got there.
多谢，哥们 Hey, thanks a lot, bro.
格里芬给你看什么了？ What did Griff show you back there?
你们有多重要 How important you are.
你和你搭档 You and your partner.
如果一切顺利 J: Look, If everything goes right the way we hope it does,
我得尽快离开这回到未来 I'm gonna end up getting out of here pretty quick,
可能没机会向你告别 so I'm not gonna have a chance to say a proper goodbye.
如果事情不顺利，我也没机会跟你告别 If things go wrong, not gonna have a chance to, either.
能否成功就看咱们了 So I guess win or lose, this is it.
我知道我为什么雇你了 I see why I recruited you.
你是个好人 You're a good man.
好人 Good man.
伙计，你怎么变这样了？ Man, what the hell happened to you?
我跟你说过 有些事还没发生所以我也不清楚 I told you, it still hasn't happened yet.
我对付这个！ J: I'll take this one!
真不懂规矩 Naughty...
如果你输了应该去修修脚 Get a pedicure if you get a second.
去死吧 And lift off.
开始进入最后倒计时两分钟 Just passed the two-minute mark
各项参数显示正常 in the countdown, and all is still go as we monitor our status board.
宇航员状况良好，动力分配已完成 MAN: Astronauts report it feels good. Power transfer is complete.
尼尔·阿姆斯特朗报告倒计时一切正常 Neil Armstrong just reported back it's been a real smooth countdown.
嘿！ Hey!
鲍里斯，帮个忙好吗？ Boris, can you give me a hand?
嘿！啊！ Hey! Aah!
嘿！ Hey!
我喊你听见没？ You hear me calling you?
禽兽鲍里斯！ Boris the Animal!
嘿！ Hey!
禽兽鲍里斯！ Boris the Animal!
是“鲍里斯”！ It's just Boris!
你输定了 You're gonna lose.
咱们走着瞧 Let's agree to disagree.
嘿！ Hey!
禽兽鲍里斯！ Boris the Animal!
右 Right.
左 Left.
（1969年7月16日上午9:30）
你输定了 You're gonna lose.
咱们走着瞧 Let's agree to disagree.
嘿！ Hey!
禽兽鲍里斯！ Boris the Animal!
右 Right.
左，左 Left. Left.
右 Right.
这不可能 That's not possible.
咱们走着瞧 Let's agree to disagree.
这可不能！ That's not possible!
K！ K!
我赢了！比那老家伙强！ I win! I'm better than me!
这才是我搭档 That's my partner.
这才是我搭档！ That's my partner!
如果把这个报上去 If we call this in,
- 他们会取消发射 - 我什么也没看见 they'll scrub the launch. I didn't see anything
- 你搭档呢？ - 他回去了 Where's your partner? He went home.
- 结果如何？ - 你懂的 How does that work? You got me.
快走！ Come on!
跪下！ Get down!
哇哦 Wow.
赢啦 K: Bingo.
伙计，那东西可真先进 Man, that is some next-level stuff.
还想看这东西的话 You ever want to see more,
我知道一个绝密组织 正需要你这样的人 I know a top-secret organization that could use a man like you.
但愿我可以 I wish I could.
谢谢 Thank you.
后会有期，K I'll see you around, K.
当心！ Look out!
来啊 Go ahead.
逮捕我吧 Arrest me.
这次不同 Not this time.
在死亡之地，总会有死亡发生 'Where there's death, there will always be death.'.
爸爸！爸爸！ BOY: Daddy! Daddy!
嘿 K: Hey...
我是K，你叫什么？ Hey, my name's K. What's your name?
詹姆斯 James.
詹姆斯？这名字不错 K: James? That's a nice name.
我爸爸呢？ Where's my dad?
你手里拿的什么？ What have you got there? What is that?
我爸爸给我的 My dad gave it to me.
可以看火箭发射时间 We timed the launch.
我爸爸哪去了？ Where is my daddy?
他… He, uh...
他有一些特别的事情要做 He went to go do something very special.
他让我留下来 And he wanted me
照顾你这个小朋友 to stay here and take care of his best pal.
那他什么时候回来？ When is he gonna be back?
他… He, uh...
詹姆斯… James...
看这里 if you look right here,
我会告诉你想知道的唯一事情 I will tell you the only thing you ever need to know.
你老爸是个英雄 Your daddy is a hero.
我爸爸是英雄？ My daddy is a hero?
- 想和我去走走吗？ - 好啊 K: Want to take a walk with me? Yes.
詹姆斯 James?
在这个由梦想铸成的 （《Empire State Of Mind》） Concrete jungle where dreams
全是高楼大厦的城市里 Are made of There's nothing '
你可以为所欲为 You can't do
因为你现在在纽约 Now you're in New York
哦，耶 Oh, yeah
街道会让你 These streets will make you '.
感觉焕然一新 K: Feel brand-new
灯光将激励你 The lights will inspire you
纽约 New York
你来晚了 You're late.
抱歉，忘看表了 Uh, sorry. Lost track of time.
你怎么知道那歌？ How do you know that song?
喝你的咖啡吧，还有活干呢 Drink your coffee. We got work to do.
你知道你不知道的那些事吗？ What do you know and what do you don't?
我不知道怎么可能知道？ How do I know what I don't know?
这问题是挺有意思 昨晚咱俩去吴的餐厅没？ That's a really good question. Did we go to Wu's last night?
去了 Yeah.
伯格罗多星人？ Boglodites?
40年前就灭绝了 Extinct for 40 years.
太好了，昨晚咱俩通电话没？ Perfect. Did we talk on the phone last night?
你把我电话挂了 You hung up on me.
是啊 Yeah, I did.
因为这些秘密 But that was because of all those secrets
宇宙都不知道 the universe doesn't know about.
可是… But...
我发现 I've realized that
昨晚的事已经过了 last night was a long,
好久好久 long time ago.
实际上只是想说句谢谢你 And, really, I just want to say thank you.
那我太荣幸了 It's been my Privilege...
你知道吗，现在来说很可能 You know, there's really high possibility now
我知道的一些事你不知道 that I might know some things you don't know.
我才不信 I doubt it. Heh.
我打赌我知道你和O为什么会这样 I bet I know what went down with you and O.
他是个好女人，但你知道规矩 K: She's a very fine lady, but you know the rules.
探员之间不许过分亲密 There's no fraternizing amongst agents.
我想你们俩在酒吧那晚也算挺亲密吧 J: I think y'all might have fraternized a time or two.
这才是真正最令我难忘的时刻 This is my new favourite moment in human history.
除非K忘了付小费 Unless this is the one where K forgot to leave a tip.
差点忘了 Almost forgot.
千钧一发 That was a close one.
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